Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pants are for mortals
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
