it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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