STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
