i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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