I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
