she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...