I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry about my life...