I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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