I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize