i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
