well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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