The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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