Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
