I am full of burrito and curiosity
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
