Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
