Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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