All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
