Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize