More tranny stories later!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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