Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
