It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
did i walk over a car last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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