i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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