Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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