i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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