Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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