just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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