Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
