There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
