Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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