I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
