get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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