I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
