You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
