Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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