I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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