found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
