would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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