one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
