I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will pee on everything he values.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while