in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and she was petting her beer can
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man