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garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
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