hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit