i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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