just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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