bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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