I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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