Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
