is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
