There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
