i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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