Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
