the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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