i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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