Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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