Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
