we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
