Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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