the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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