clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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