oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
