The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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