Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
