he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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