covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am one with the molecules
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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