I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
