i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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